Change involves death...
...but we are built to avoid it!
For humankind, this reality poses quite a conundrum in that we must feel good about something we need to avoid! The leaves do not die on the trees until there are new leaves pushing them out. An old house must be torn down before a new one can be built. And sometimes it must get worse before it can get better. This pattern repeats throughout all of nature, and brings with it the promise of new life. In the same way, creating a new life story means the old life story must die. This "death" is often the source of anxiety about change. It's a totally natural response, but it does not need to be an excuse for staying in a rut. Anxiety is a biopsychological response that can be effectively managed with some simple techniques.
Symptoms aren't bad.
Symptoms are messengers that change is occurring, or that it needs to occur.
Symptoms can be very unpleasant. Some of them are particularly unpleasant in order to motivate us to make change. Otherwise, we might ignore them, and this could be fatal. Even the worst symptoms represent the body's attempt to heal, or the mind's attempt to comfort. The key is to understand the message of the symptom so the need can be identified, and the appropriate action chosen. Agreed, this is easier said than done, but it starts with acceptance of this simple truth.
Feeling is not an f-word.
Feelings often come before symptoms, and are another form of messenger.
This means that more serious symptoms, such as disease or addiction, can be avoided by learning to identify what we feel, then honoring those feelings. They indicate unmet needs, warnings, and even success. And even the negative feelings, like guilt and fear, are designed to help us, and deserve the same respect as love, joy, and peace. Like symptoms, when you learn to read your own feelings, you gain more power to heal your life.
There is no skipping steps.
Problems develop from a series of specific steps, and they are undone by a series of specific steps.
It is all too tempting to believe we can bypass the work required in recovery. There will likely be moments that feel like setbacks. The important thing to remember is that health is a process, and that some stages will be more pleasant than others. What may feel like a setback is another messenger that things are changing.
Carrot seeds do not make puppies.
One thing is for certain... we reap exactly what we sow, and often with increase.
It can be difficult to understand why certain things happen to certain people. Indeed, there are times when things happen to us that are completely out of our control. The good news is that these circumstances are rare. The bad news is that we become responsible for the conditions of our own lives, for the most part. If we cannot control what happens to us, we can control our response to the events... though it may mean we need to locate some additional supports. The principle of reaping and sowing makes the world a predictable place. Understanding the decision chain that resulted in undesirable consequences can be used to create positive consequences.
You will have more of what you want...
... but possibly at the expense of what you desire!
The state of wanting something means you don't have it. If this lack is painful, you are likely to focus on it. What you will get more of is what you focus on, not what you lack. That is, if you focus on the lack, you will get more lack. But... if you focus on your desire, you will ultimately gain that desire. This is not a law of attraction, but a law of intention. Success is built on steps that lead to your desire. You reap what you sow, and there is no skipping steps!
There is nobody coming to save you...
... and no place called "there."
The myth that there is someone "out there" that will eventually save you is a major cause of treatment failure. You may look to governments, or partners, or even crime to salvage a sorry life. The truth of the matter is that you are the only person who can save you. And there is no other place then right here, where you are at all times. So, bloom where you are planted. Take back your life and write it the way you want. You are your White Knight! And if you really think about it... "there" is only ever
an idea away.